If he gives you banter back, you know you’re doing it right. It should all come across light-hearted and playful. Does he love Harry Potter? Make fun of him for it, Admit it, you’re a closet nerd aren’t you?” Tease him for dumb things he says, “Oh god, you’re the goofiest guy I’ve ever talked too!”. Does he talk about a tough day with customers at work? Tell him the funniest story of a customer you’ve dealt with. Instead, look for fun in every conversational thread. Chatting on the phone is a lot less like a text message conversation and a lot more like a real date… so treat it as such!Īvoid the standard “What do you do” questions. The last thing you want is your phone conversation to sound like a phone interview.
#Dont call me up 10 hours crack
It’s long enough to build rapport, crack jokes, and emotionally connect, while short enough to avoid lulls in conversation and have him excited to hear your voice again. As you get to know each other better, you can increase the times from there. Your goal, therefore, is to end your phone conversation before said trough hits.ġ5-20 minutes is a good guideline for your first phone call to a guy. The hot guy you met last week? Don’t.Īnytime you converse with someone, there is a peak and a trough in energy of the interaction. A boyfriend of 10 months? Talk for 3 hours. This phenomenon occurs when the conversation goes on too long relative to how long you’ve known him. You know those text conversations with that guy you had a real spark with? The ones that three days and 50 texts later, the two of you ‘just didn’t feel it anymore’? If you’re in a grumpy mood and can’t find it within yourself to be positive – you are best off rain checking until you can.
There’s nothing that will kill his attraction for you faster.Ĭonversation should be positive and light-hearted, with the topics from your end framed around things you’re excited to do, have done, or are doing.Īim to have >80% of the conversation framed around positive, fun topics – in particular, the beginning and end. No guy wants to get on the phone to a new woman and hear her complain about a list of all the things wrong with her life. Questions specific to him that elicit his values are ideal, but if you don’t have any, more general ones, such as “If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?” or “If you had to live anywhere, where would you live?” get interesting conversation flowing, while still being plenty of fun. However, we all have things we’re curious about in potential partners, so having a question or two in the back of your mind, simply to satisfy your curiosity (while having the convenient benefit of filling holes in conversation!), is something I recommend. Go with the flow on the phone – planning conversations will seem awkward. Don’t plan conversations, but have questions in mind Call me tonight x”, during a text conversation is a great way to encourage a man to step up and call you, without actually doing it for him.ĭoing so sets you clearly apart from other women, who are stuck talking to him via endless text chatter that builds no real rapport. Sending the message, “Let’s stop the back and forth. Many men these days (sadly) are not used to chatting on the phone to women, so it may take prompting to get him heading in that direction. If you’re going to get on the phone to a guy, odds are you will have to direct the conversation there yourself. The first aim of a successful phone conversation is to simply to have a phone conversation. Use it! – Offer to chat on the phone during text conversations Here’s 8 do’s and don’ts of getting on the phone in dating, so you can get all the benefits without the awkwardness. Using the phone isn’t as scary as it seems.
That is the bread and butter of the classic phone call, and if you’re not using it, you’re losing out to women who do. This is putting real effort into someone and building a connection. This is keeping interactions moving forward with energy and emotion. Messaging may be convenient and practical, but this isn’t scheduling your day or sorting logistics (the bread and butter for the text-message medium). It’s not hard to see why chatting on the phone – a medium boasting only some of the social benefits of live interactions and only some of the convenience benefits of instant messaging – is losing in both. We live in a world where communication is becoming progressively more convenient… while at the same time, progressively more impersonal. It’s no longer difficult to walk into any bar or coffee house to find groups of legitimate friends, looking at their phones, rather than talking to one another. Talking on the phone is a talent becoming increasingly rare in today’s era of dating.
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